Not Your First Choice

I was never chosen first. I was chosen because of some reminder. I was chosen because I was another version of the real thing you wanted. I was chosen as an easy fix. I was chosen as a do-over. I was chosen as a second option while you entertained the first.

I was always put second. Emotionally and physically. I was your opportunity to get it right this time. I was the minimal disruption; the one who didn’t push you, who didn’t require much. And you took advantage of that. I didn’t speak up, and neither did you. I was the chance for you to make right the one thing that you didn’t want to get wrong.

Now, I’m left here in the shadow of the girl you actually wanted. Now, I have this cloud over me every single day. As you slowly let go of the thing you actually wanted, you start to see I no longer fit the mold you needed me for. As you move on from your past relationship, you realize you don’t need me to be the shadow anymore, the correction. You're feeling better about yourself because you found someone similar you could "get it right" with.

I was never first for you, even though you were first for me. And now, I want to be free.